I didn't live with my father after him and my mom split hen I was 3 months old. Sure, I would occasionally visit him...spend a week here and there with him, but nothing substantial. I would always get my hopes up when he said he was coming. And then heartbreak for me. Always.
Hell he even came to town for my high school graduation but wound up staying at my mom's house drinking instead of coming to watch me walk across the stage. He has always done that...hanging out with friends instead of with me. Granted his drinking isn't always bad...its the only time he really tells me things...tells me he loves me, that he is proud of me, that I have a sister {yep sprung that gem on me 2 years ago}, basically its the only time he is honest with me. Yes, I still get disappointed by him to this day and I'm an almost 32 year old woman.
That is no way to grow up. A dad should be honest...reliable...dependable...loving...caring...everything and anything the child needs. I pray that one day gene will get to be a father. A father that will be the best father ever. An amazing father. Seeing him with my sister makes me know without a reasonable doubt he will be amazing.
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8 brilliant insights:
i'm really glad that you found a man that is going to be a great dad!
whatwouldjendo.com
I wish you the very best. And I am glad you found someone who you know will be a great dad.
An ICLW Visit from #107 (mfi, speedskating, strength)
liddy @ the unfair struggle
I was lucky that my dad was/is an amazing father. My husband will be an amazing father too. I hope your DH will be able to flex his Daddy wings soon!
wat i love about life is that we can choose wat we want to be. u married a man that is the opposite of ur dad. success is the sweetest revenge ; )
Your children are going to be so lucky to have Gene, and you are too. My situation is very similar, only I no longer have any relationship with my dad whatsoever. But growing up, I remember thinking about what qualities I wished my parents had, and it was a huge factor in my choosing a mate. I feel so lucky that I found someone who will be a stable, reliable, loving, generous, kind, gentle DADDY. Not just a father, but a daddy to our little girl. It's worth more than anything, but also makes the infertility that much harder.
I know it's probably tough for you because a big part of the let-down with IF is that you see this amazing man who is meant to be a father and it's not working out as easily as you'd hoped, but I'm here to say that you WILL make him a father and the struggle and wait will be worth every second of heartbreak when you see his eyes light up over your baby. I fully realize that's easier for me to say, being on the way to the "other side," but I've always held firmly that our struggles make the end result that much sweeter and more worth it.
Cheers to your future baby-daddy! :)
this is very touching because i too, did not have my dad. he died when i was 5. but now, life has left me with an unexpected twist on what i signed up for with my own family...so i wish the best for you and your husband. i will pray that you build a loving and beautiful family together because it can be a wonderful thing!
I think that growing up and not consistently having your dad around can have the positive effect of making us really want to see our children grow up with a truly fantastic father. I grew up with no dad at all, and while it's been difficult to come to terms with it, knowing that my husband wants children and wants to be a dad... it makes me want to give him that gift so much more, because it's something I (and my own dad) missed out on.
Sorry if that sounds kind of rambly.
I'm glad you found an amazing husband. Best of luck to you both, and happy ICLW!
Dads, eghhhh. alcoholism, eghhhhh.
Really does get us thinking about what makes us a family and what makes us parents. Did you see Determined Dory's recent post about Fathers? It was great! http://determineddory.wordpress.com/2010/07/25/what-makes-a-man-a-father/
BEst of luck on your journey! Thanks for stopping by!
-Foxy
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