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Last night I was on facebook and I knew that my SIL would be announcing her new pregnancy soon...well, she had announced it while I was gone on vacation which is no big deal...I am happy for them. They will have a beautiful second child in as many years. I can deal right? Um, that was till I saw her due date...January. They JUST found out they were pregnant last month. I did the math. They are due a little after when our April baby would have been due...basically they got pregnant when we were loosing ours.
This is KILLING me y'all. I know I shouldn't let it bother me...but really? She is getting to have MY pregnancy. And will be having OUR baby. Yes I know it's not OURS I'm not insane, but I am having a REALLY, REALLY hard time with this.
It sooooooooo doesn't help matters either that I am realizing our December baby would be here just about now.
I am trying not to dwell on this. I am trying to just put this to the back of my mind. I am trying. But failing.
Today is a bad day.
Last night was a bad night. Even though I am on my stupid period I still tested last night. Hoping. Praying. That a miracle baby would make me feel better. Of course it was negative. I had no doubts that it would be but I guess I was just praying for divine intervention.
I know everything will be fine. I know I will be fine. Some days are just harder than others.
16 brilliant insights:
*hugs*
My newest niece was born two days ago. That would be number 2 in 2 years! And today is CD1. I know what you're going through and it's so difficult. Many hugs to you!!!
Some days are harder than others. We're humans with a range of emotions. My heart is breaking reading this post, my stomach sinking. I'm so sorry. ***hugs***
Big squishy hugs!
First of all, cutest picture ever...
So sorry you are having a bad day. And I know all about irrational thinking. My OB committed suicide right about the time our baby miscarried, and I can't get it out of my head that my OB took my baby with her. Crazy, I know and I know rationally that's not the case, but still...
Sucks that you are going to have to deal with your SIL's pregnancy. Totally understandable how you are feeling. Make sure to easy on yourself.
Hugs to you...
I am also having a hard day. Took a test this morning (negative) and my best friend whose due date would have been five days from mine announced her pregnancy on FB the other day, and a coworker also announced he has a baby due around that time so the office is all buzzing about it. Also -- my birthday is Sunday and I swore I would be well on my way to being a mom by then-- oh well. I totally feel your pain.
I'm sorry it's such a hard day for you. I had those days really often and I get it. I hope that tomorrow brings you a fresh start and you can look ahead to what will be in your future.
*Hugs* There are too many people who can relate to your story and that makes me sad. My SIL announced as we were recovering from my m/c - it was extremely painful. We've been lapped by friends who were due at the same time as us too.
Its a terrible aching loss, that permeates to the very core of my soul. Like you 99% of the time I can deal, it's just that damn 1% that pops out of nowhere :(
I can't say "I know how you feel" because I don't ~ but I can say that I love ya and I am praying for you.....your stronger then you think my friend, but you don't have to be strong all the time. hugs
I know it absolutely sucks! thinking of u and sending hugs
Some days are harder and some barely survivable. I totally understand the pain of experiencing someone else having the pregnancy that "was supposed to be" yours. It cuts deeper than anything else I've felt before. Take care of yourself.
Huge hug! I agree, some days are way harder than others... love you girl!
I'm sorry. The timing of that sucks. Big time. It's never easy, but that makes it even harder.
There are days when I can deal and days when I can't. There's no rhyme or reason to why I'm able to dust off my shoulders one day and I crumble to dust the others. It just happens.
Big hugs.
Here from CDLC...
I know how you feel - my SIL and I were due 2 weeks apart. She has her son, but I lost our baby. And the next one. I know, if it weren't for all that I wouldn't have my daughter, but I still get a twinge every time I think of our nephew's birthday - 6 years later. You're not alone...
Big hugs. Yes, I understand where the pain is rooted...and that bridge between rationality and longing...
The reminders abound.
Here from CDLC.
Here from CDLC...thank you for such an honest post. These feelings aren't always rational, nor do they leave us feeling good, but they're real, and so tough. Thinking of you, and all of us who have been there.
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