Thursday, October 20, 2011

my life as a circus...

{via}



I feel like I am the ringleader of a thirty ring circus and all the acts are relying on me. Most of them don't seem to work well without me...a few can work independently, but most of the time I have to do something to make them work.

Work, home, family, money, me, my marriage, etc, all things that need me to deal with...all things I feel like I'm not handling well. All things I'm feeling completely overwhelmed being in charge of. I'm taking baby steps {yes, like What About Bob?} to each ring, to get everything back on track. I know that number one has to be me...if I get me working, I will be able to more easily work on the other more daunting tasks {hello teenage boys}. 

I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope, any little thing might tip me over and make me fall...I went to my regular doctor last week and got put back on the meds I was on before we started the whole making a baby journey three years ago {THREE years people}. There is a peace about me right now with calling off the whole trying thing. I can finally regain who I am...who I have wanted to be...

Soon, I hope that my marriage will follow suit...maybe our trapeze act will start working again. I need/want that to be ok again. I miss what we were. He is an amazing person that I just feel like I have grown away from instead of growing too...I feel like we keep missing each others grasp...we need to be back in sync and flying high again...

The boys...I don't know what act fits them best...they are a little of the freak show, the lions or the clown show, which all keeps me on my toes. One boy will be gone a little over two weeks {holy crap}. The other is super needy and needs me to make almost every decision for him...yet cannot take blame for the ones he makes that are crappy. Every bad grade is not his fault. Loosing his shorts {and our house keys} are not his fault. Forgetting to put up dishes or take out the trash, yep, not his fault. It's A LOT.

So much going on...so much I need to figure out...so much...


While I ponder life, look at the pretties I found on Etsy...

Circus print childs play roo...
$30.00

The Circus Is Coming To Town...
$11.00

Red Glitter Mini Top Hat, Bu...
$185.00

Pillow Cover Circus Cotton a...
$35.00

Ring Me // Contemporary Jewe...
$30.00

Carnival Party - Circus Part...
$20.00

C a r n i v a l - paper & wo...
$12.50

Embroidery Hoop Vintage Tigh...
$24.00

Carnival Photography - Octob...
$125.00

Vintage Pink and Yellow CIRC...
$4.25

Admit One Vintage Ticket Bel...
$20.00

Made To Order - Lady Sweet P...
$70.00

Pierrot Acrobat Necklace
$32.00

Small gold plated pewter Car...
$17.00

Freak Show Vintage Circus An...
$16.99

4 comments:

Stephen Hayes said...

There is so much to think about in your post, but I keep coming back to that first picture of the Big Top. The tent's purpose is to block out the real world so you can concentrate on the non-worldly events taking place within. But it's easy to get trapped by the glitter and excitement, forgetting that the tent must inevitably come down--an interesting metaphor for life. Hopefully you will value yourself and cherish your family enough to get what you need, even if it means putting yourself first for once. Good luck. I'm betting on you....

Jenn said...

though overwhelming I'm sure, you are doing an amazing job at being the ringleader!

Kim said...

Life is definitely a circus. Your life is especially one. Not everything will work right at the same time, but that's why there are three rings: there's always something worth watching.

Suzy, Not a Fertile Myrtle said...

So sorry your life is like a three ring+ circus right now. At least you're hone HOT ringleader. :)

As always, I love your etsy goodies.

xoxo