Tuesday, November 22, 2011

thank you...



I cannot express my thanks to everyone of my blogging {and some IRL} friends for getting me through this year. As we approach the holiday season, this one is extremely bittersweet for me. This last year has been one of many ups and downs {sadly so many more downs} than I would have cared to have had.

If my year had gone the "easy" way, I would have a baby in my arms right now or at least be this close to giving birth to the other one. Two losses makes for an extremely rough year. I am trying to stay positive. I am trying to not dwell on it. I am trying to survive without this defining me.

I don't think that anything I do will take away the pain...the time has healed somewhat, but as we approach the due date of the second lost pregnancy {one that my SIL now has}, I find it harder and harder to stay sane.

I am thankful for a wonderful group of friends who are here for me unconditionally. I am hoping to make it through the holidays thankful for what I do have instead of what I have lost...I have a wonderful family {inlaws & siblings} I will be sharing Thanksgiving with and without the ever-present baby belly of my sister-in-law I might make it through the meal without crying.

I wish this year had worked out differently. But I know that for whatever reason this was God's plan for me...I just wish I knew why...though I probably won't know till I'm standing at Heaven's gate {and then, it really wouldn't matter anymore}...

8 comments:

Stephen Hayes said...

I can only hope that when your goals are accomplished they will be all the sweeter because of all the battles you have fought to accomplish them. Best of Wishes.

annoyed army wife said...

***hugs*** I wish things would have turned out differently for you, too. And you're right, your friends here will be there for you unconditionally.

Katie said...

I wish things would have gone differently for you, too.

Sending love. xo

amiracle4us said...

hugs.....xo

Audrey said...

I'm hanging in there with you, my sister in arms. You just inspired me to get out of the feeling-sorry-for-myself slump, and I'm thankful for that.

Honey B. said...

Sometime I think I could deal with this so much better, if everyone around me wasn't getting pregnant! But I think, I hope, that everything we go through makes us both better versions of who we are. Otherwise, I don't know what the H is going on. But regardless- love ya! :-)

Kaitlin said...

My love. <3 I'm sorry this year didn't turn out as planned. But I just want you to know that I love you and will ALWAYS be here for you.

Your eBFF<3

Kim said...

I'm a bit late on this, but Happy Thanksgiving. Belatedly. I'm so glad we've gotten to know each other this past year. I hope that continues.