Sometimes silence is deafening.
For me it is. For me when I cannot express what is going on in my life, what is swirling around in my head, what I think, what I want, I get frustrated. I know I'm not 100%. I know that I need to get happier.
But really...I'm not happy and I don't know what I need to make me happy. Don't get me wrong, I am not a mopey person. I appear happy. I appear normal. I am one of those "fake it till you make it" type of people. So I smile. Not all the time. At home, alone, I can be me. But really...who am I now.
I feel like I'm insanely philosophical for a Friday. I feel like I should just flip a switch and be ok...technically I am ok. I know this. I just want to be happy. But what that happiness consists of, I am not sure...which as you may guess makes getting there even harder.
I'm not sure, I am making a few changes to see if that will get me to where I need to be...if those don't work, I will make a few more...I just want to be happy...